Partly I think this time of year triggers certain insecurities, because I separated from my ex- almost exactly six years ago. The other big part is a feeling of disconnect from my loved ones. I’ve been putting in a ton of hours since I started my new job. Money is also tight right now. The combination of those things has led to me not going out much. Hence the disconnect.
Yesterday I got a much needed dose of “connect” with my friends.
In the morning, I went running in Weedon Island Preserve with a friend I hadn’t seen in awhile. The combination of fresh air, sunlight, running, and good conversation was good for my soul.
I also put a call-out to my Facebook community asking they send a birthday card to me. (My birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks.) I learned early in my counseling experiences that there is no shame in asking for what you need from people.
I also learned that no one can read your mind about what you might like. For some, birthday cards are dumb. But to me, receiving them makes me feel special. I love reading the notes people write to me.
The response to my request has already been heart lifting. I look forward to receiving these well wishes!
Later in the day I attended a friend’s birthday celebration. There I got to see and visit with friends I hadn’t seen in a awhile, while wishing my friend a happy entry to her 30’s. It was refreshing to get caught up with my friends’ lives a bit and to see them doing well.
So yesterday was a great day, and I’m feeling good today too. I’m feeling connected, happy, rejuvenated.
I need to keep this in mind and reach out more as I continue this intense year of working full time and finishing my PhD. After this year, it will be smooth sailing. This year, it’s a little choppy. I just need to remember to ask for what I need.
What do I need? Just a little help from my friends now and again.
So, how about you? How do you ask for what you need? What sorts of things do you have to ask for that you think should be intuitive to people?