For example, I can be a bit of a hermit. My “alone time” has become important to me after a marriage where my significant other and I had too much together time. I‘m even proud of my independence, and how I can go do a whole host of activities by myself and still have a fantastic time. I’m also proud that I can sit in a quiet room and amuse myself for hours. Tanya Davis wrote a great poem about being alone (below video), and I’ve really tried to embrace a lot of the ideas in it since my divorce.
However, I can take it to an extreme and isolate myself a little too much. And sometimes when you are alone too much, the negative voices in the back of your mind gain a little more power.
“You haven’t been invited to outings because no one really wants you there.”
”They’re too busy with their significant others and families to have time for you.”
They start saying things like that, and if you continue to be alone for an extended period of time it’s easy to start to believe them.
In times like these I often want people to reach out to me. I want them to invite me to things, to tell me that they care. Except I realize that I retracted so far from them that they don’t even realize I want and/or need a hand.
Around that time I’ll start inviting myself to things again. Or host some outings. Then we hang out and have a delightful time. We laugh and talk and reconnect. Suddenly I remember that I am an important part of something. In fact, I am an important part of many somethings… I remember that I am incredibly blessed to have the friends and other blessings in my life that I do.
From those experiences I redouble my efforts to remember my blessings and to maintain blessed balance in all areas of my life.