The high I generated over the weekend from connecting with friends has held over throughout the week.
And, thank goodness!
The “not good enough” and “what’s wrong with me” bugs are gone now. Loneliness has left the building. I’m Ok with being alone again. All of these things feel like a blessing and a relief.
Yes, there is a difference between feeling lonely and being alone.
I’ve had the renewed realization that when I’m feeling lonely, it’s not so much that I’m missing a lover in my life (i.e. the predominant place my brain hangs out when I’m feeling lonely). It’s more that I’m missing connection in general. That realization takes the pressure off of finding a life partner, because I know that I don’t have to rush into that. I just need to feed my soul by staying connected with those who care for me (and vice versa).
So I’m back to feeling myself again. I feel like I fit in my own skin. My brain isn’t buzzing with unwanted negativity, and it’s at peace with the wonderful life I am living.
I know I’ll feel low and lonely again. But each time I face those problems, I get a little better at coping with them and figuring out how to work through those feelings. I learn more and more about what I need to maintain happiness.
I’m creating myself, becoming more and more my true self, each and every day.