This is a topic I think a lot about, but I’ve avoided writing about. Well, perhaps I haven’t avoided it. More it’s that I haven’t really known what to write.
But today I want to write about hope.
About how it feels to meet a person who is smart, funny, and interesting, that I also share some chemistry with (a rare combination, indeed!).
About how it feels to try to be fully myself, to be vulnerable, and to build a connection with someone new.
About sharing fun times, jokes, life stories with this new person. I want to write about feeling excited about dating again. I want to write about thinking, just maybe, there could be a love for me.
I also want to write about frustration.
About how it feels to go on many mediocre, and occasional bad, dates.
About how a high match percentage on an online dating site coupled with online chatting and a few telephone calls before meeting in person can result in dates with few common interests and/or no chemistry.
About dating nice guys, but feeling very frustrated about going on date after date where there is no chemistry.
I want to write about the “success” stories.
About going out with someone a number of times and having fun.
About a guy saying he likes me, and me saying that I like him too.
About him disappearing off of the face of the earth: no text, no phone call. Just … nothing.
About feeling disappointed, disrespected, and undervalued every time it happens.
I want to write about the occasional hopelessness I feel in finding romantic love.
About going through all of this too many times.
About wanting to shut down.
About not wanting to let anyone else in, because it’s just too damn hard to keep opening up.
I want to write about how we can stop mending the walls around our hearts, and start letting them fall so that love can enter.
I guess I have a lot to write about after all… I’ll be breaking some of these bigger issues into smaller future blogs.
I’d love comments from all of you single folks out there, or those who have been through a lot of these issues but found love in the end.