Nervous

NervousMan, was I nervous yesterday. Fortunately I slept Ok the night before, but as that alarm went off the bees in my stomach started flying

I like to equate butterflies in my stomach with the good kind of anxiety. Bees are for the more fear-based ones.

So I wanted to do one more run through of my talk, but I was in heavy procrastination mode.

I was trying to write away some of my nerves, hence this post.

Logically, I knew everything will be Ok. I knew I’ll do well.

Or at least well enough.

But this still feels big. Huge, in fact.

I guess it’s a good thing that I felt nervous. If I wasn’t, I think it would indicate that I don’t care. And, there have been times while I’ve been working on this degree that I’ve felt like I didn’t.

I guess the truth came out  yesterday.

This is something I’ve worked hard towards, and I wanted it to end it right. I didn’t want to mess it up. I didn’t want to end flat on my face.

With that thought, I’ll keep in mind my good friend, Jean. She’s been my friend since middle school. We both ran track together. During one track meet, as Jean crossed the finish line she face-planted. Literally. Leaned over to cross the line and kept on falling. On black, rubbery asphalt. When she stood up, she had a huge scrape running from her chin to her forehead. It looked terrible. But she got up laughing! Laughing! I couldn’t believe it.

If I happen to face plant during my talk, I will keep Jean in mind.

Even when we fall, we can get up laughing.

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