Loops

There’s something about moving that brings up the past.

Maybe it’s unpacking those things that have been hiding away since the last move. Making the judgement call on if it stays or goes this time.

Sometimes it’s one. Sometimes the other.

But some things will always stay.

Like this bandanna.

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Ignore my dirty face and neck. I was stripping my
wrought iron patio furniture for painting. Messy business…

Once upon a time, my aunt, my brother, and me were digging in my great-grandma’s closet. There was enough of this weird, dark green pattern for us to make two bandannas and another headband. (Guess which my younger brother got?) Over the years I lost mine.

Not sure where. 

Years after our closet foraging my aunt died. She committed suicide. I found this bandanna among her belongings, and I took it. Needless to say, I haven’t lost this one. I don’t wear it much. But in this 8th move in 10 years, I want to wear it.

I want to loop back and revisit those memories I shared with my aunt.

I’ve also been thinking a lot about someone who won’t be joining me on this next phase of my journey: my pup. She was with me for four moves and 8 years. She liked to steal the tape dispenser when I taped up boxes. It was incredibly annoying and frustrating.

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Who knew I’d miss that damn dog stealing that damn tape dispenser… Not having to fight for it is definitely sending my thoughts back to the good times shared with my pup.

So, as often has happened, I’m packing boxes and feeling nostalgic as I do so. 

Maybe part of the looping process I’ve experienced also has to do with saying good-bye to the past. Moving gives a concrete event where we can pause for a few minutes while packing boxes and honor those who have historically been a part of our journey.

And, of course, there’s the fact that I’m leaving Tampa too. Though I’m only going across the bay, I will be further from my Tampa friends. It’ll be a little harder to get together, when time and other commitments already make it hard.

I’m still super excited about entering this next phase of my life. But doing so still brings stuff up.

One more loop in the cycles of life.

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2 Comments

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2 Responses to Loops

  1. I enjoyed your post. Something about traveling in and out of the past keeps me balanced in the future. Memories and hopes for what’s ahead teeter-taw into life. A bandana morphs into a wearable photo album full of sights, sounds, and words you can absorb with your eyes closed and your mind open. Best of luck in your upcoming chapter.

    • Christy

      I think I need to make more time for traveling into the past. When I move, I end up feeling some pretty intense emotions because I’m not necessarily feeling them at other times… Something to ponder. Thanks for the well wishes!