Online Dating Woes

onlinedatingxOh, the wonders that surface with online dating…

I’ve been single for quite a long time now by anyone’s standards. On and off through my six+ years of singledom, I’ve used online dating. I really don’t know what other avenues are out there for me. Most of my friends are women (not my cup of tea) or  coupled up. Most of their friends are coupled up, so no opportunities for set ups.

I’m also an intermittent hermit. I’m perfectly happy sitting at home working on a mosaic  or painting. Or reading. Or watching a movie. Plus I try to watch my finances, so I stay in to avoid spending too much money. Again, not much of an opportunity to meet a potential mate.

So, online dating…

Yes, I’ve gone on plenty of nice dates.

But there are SO MANY douchebags out there. Guys that have absolutely no problem propositioning me for sex, even though on my profile it states I’m looking for a potential relationship (i.e. not casual sex). Guys that are so incredibly insecure that if you reject them at all, they immediately go on the offensive to repair their frail male egos.

Tonight I had a man message me for the third time. Granted, I could have responded to a previous message saying I wasn’t interested. I didn’t and deleted the messages instead. This third time I was direct: “Thank you for your persistence, but I’m not interested. Happy hunting!”

His response? Pure vitriol. 

asshole_zps62dcf8f3I immediately deleted it after responding, because I don’t like that sort of negativity hanging around my inbox. (I wished I’d had the foresight to save it for this post…) But something to the effect that I was a snotty bitch, and he was just giving me a chance anyway.

Sometimes I just delete and block messages like that. Sometimes I don’t.

My response tonight?

“Oh, I changed my mind! Now I realize what a gem I might have missed.

Fuck off. No wonder you are single…”

After two two messages where we have had no interaction, where does this supposed man get the idea that I owe him a damn thing?

I’ve had friends contact me through e-mail and Facebook after posting messages about this sort of thing telling me their own stories. This sort of thing happens too much. Maybe on both sides, but certainly to women.

Men, are you looking for a mate? Well, try acting like a fucking gentleman. At least for those internet-based first impressions. Bawdiness and intimate humor comes later. Insults and degrading should never be present. Ever… At least without consent.

I know I’m doing the things I should to attract an ideal mate. Obviously my intuition was good in weeding this guy out. But online dating can still be so demoralizing. I know there are so many good, wonderful men out there. Apparently they aren’t online dating sites, or they (or I) am swiping left…

How else to meet someone? …

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