Reality Man

Gomez and Morticia

 It’s Valentine’s Day! Red heart So of course I’m reflecting on romantic love, even though it’s been missing from my life for awhile.

Last year I was feeling really crappy about being single. This year my reflection on my love life feels more positive. I’m feeling good in my own skin, and even with all of my dating shenanigans from last year, right now I’m feeling hopeful about finding someone.

A friend recently asked me what my true love would be like if he waltzed into my life that very minute. Dating has taught me a lot about what I don’t want in a partner. Those are certainly important lessons, but I don’t feel like it’s a good thing to solely concentrate on the negatives.

So what do I want in a partner?  When my friend asked I felt like I could only respond with a few vague traits. After my friend and I parted ways I started thinking about this more. What do I want in a partner?

The ‘law of attraction’ and other ideas about getting what you want often include instruction on writing down your desires. Whether or not the ‘law of attraction’ actually results in the manifestation of your desires, writing down your wants gives focus to your goal. It allows you to explore what you want, and perhaps more importantly, why you might want them. I feel like this focus and exploration could be really important in finding and recognizing a partner. And in terms of the actual ‘law of attraction,’ I figure it can’t hurt. 🙂

So here’s my list for my Reality Man. (Labeling him as a “Dream Man”  might keep him there: in my dreams. I’d rather have a flesh and blood human being, flaws and all!)

My partner is someone who:
1.) Is attractive to my eyes and heart.

2.) Is generally happy.

3.) Expresses gratitude. (Perhaps this goes along with #2?)

4.) Will be willing to put in the work in the relationship when things get hard.

5.) Challenges himself to be his true self in our relationship.

6.) Likes to laugh, joke, and tease.

7.) Likes to caress, kiss, and touch.

8.) Likes to be caressed, kissed, and touched.

9.) Likes to travel.

10.) Adores music.

11.) Does not smoke.

I feel my list is pretty reasonable. I also think the list encompasses many of the things that make a relationship last. Some of the list items include things that were missing, or went missing, in my marriage. Some of the items are things I’ve been working on and have found to be indispensable since my divorce.

May my Reality Man manifest during 2014…  😀

Happy Valentine’s Day! Red heart

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