Once upon a time my intuition was buried. It was buried under anger, fear, self doubt… Since I began my endeavors for personal understanding and growth, I’ve grown to trust my intuition in certain areas: specifically emotional ones.
This is one of those times…
I’ve reentered the dating world. Dating is the epitome of challenging yourself when you are trying to live an honest, vulnerable life.
With every date there is a swirl of thoughts and emotions, many of them contradicting.
On the one hand, your brain is telling you things like:
- Oooo. He’s attractive.
- And he’s smart!
- He’s funny too.
- He offered to pick up the tab. Very gentlemanly…
All the while your heart is saying:
- Oooo. He IS attractive!
- He’s smart, but the conversation is just intellectual. There’s no spark.
- He’s funny, but there’s no flirtation. There’s no heat.
- The first kiss – no butterflies…
And so it has gone with a man I briefly dated. The first two dates went well enough: at least well enough to lead us to a third date. But that third date felt different.
And it ended with a kiss with no butterflies.
At the end of that third date, we talked of meeting again and continued texting. I was willing to meet with him again, though my intuition was telling me I should call things off.
But I began second-guessing my intuition…
- Maybe I was just having an off night, and any attraction that might have been there was masked by that.
- Maybe we just needed another date or two for the attraction to bloom.
- Maybe I’m putting my walls back up to avoid getting close to someone, and getting hurt…
Or maybe there was no attraction between us.
He confirmed that tonight via text. He wasn’t feeling it either, and he contacted me about it.
I feel a little guilty about not expressing my concerns. At the same time, I realize that I was willing to meet with him again, and I wanted to call things off in person if I were to do such things. I did what I thought was right, and I was going to give it one more shot.
He beat me to it.
It is validating to know that the radar associated with my intuition is on track though. I was worried about the things I listed above, but in reality the warnings from my heart were right.
Next time I’ll heed them earlier.
There have been guys I have opened up to. Yeah, I’ve gotten hurt, but I know what it feels like when I do like someone romantically. I have to remember that…
I am actively making choices about how I live my life, but the universe also has plans for me. I trust that it is taking me where I need to be.
And my gut is telling me I’m right.