Tag Archives: pet euthansia

Not Yet

DSC01827Pretty, isn’t it? Beautiful even. The knots in the wood catch your eye as they swirl. The red of whatever wood it is is dark and deep. Almost the color of drying blood. Continue reading

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An Ocean

Grief OceanThis week has been an interesting one from an emotional standpoint. I’ve felt a dullness since Willow passed. Sometimes it becomes more prominent. Others it diminishes.

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Healing Music

Ever since yesterday, I’ve been playing my “grief” playlist. It’s that list of songs that can make you cry even when you are at your happiest.

The key song that has been rattling in my brain has been Matt Bednarsky‘s “Life Goes On.”

Even in the midst of my sadness, I went and got my hair cut after putting Willow down. I ran some errands that needed to be done. I figured I’d just sit at home crying and moping if I wasn’t doing those things, so I might as well do them.

Every time I got back in the car, I cried.

Another comforting tear jerker is Sarah McLachlan‘s “Angel.”

And that uplifting ditty, “Iris,” by the Goo Goo Dolls.

What is it about listening to sad music when you are sad? Shouldn’t you want to listen to happy music to try to cheer yourself up?

Right now, I guess I don’t want to be cheered up. I want to grieve.

  • I want to feel sad about the physical void resulting from my dog passing over.
  • I want to feel sad about smelling her when I walk in the door. About expecting to see her happy face and wiggle butt.
  • I want to feel sad about life moving on, sometimes a little too quickly.
  • I want to feel sad about the hard choices we have to make sometimes for the animals we love.
  • I want to feel comforted that others have created beautiful music out of their pain, though it may come from a different source than my own.

Maybe it ultimately comes down to this:

music heals soul

Time plays a role too, no doubt. But music can help make sense of the pain of loss too. 

So, for a little while, I choose to be sad. To let it run its course.

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