Tired

this-coffee-is-broken-im-still-tired-quote-1A month and 10 days into it, and I’m tired.

Too tired.

I wake up at 5:00 to make coffee, eat breakfast, and scoop the cat poop. (I got into the habit of scooping the poop in the morning over the summer. It’s stuck. The habit, that is.)

I’m at work at 6:30-ish. Classes start at 7:30.

I’m working too many hours after school. I’m working too much on the weekend.

Faculty meetings have already started going over. I’m the time keeper. I’m largely ignored.

Two to three days a week I have to float to three different classrooms throughout my day. I push a big cart that has textbooks and other supplies so I can run my class. If I’m running late, I literally get to run to class. I nearly always forget something I need on these days.

I’m on my feet all … day … long. Sometimes I sit during lunch. If students aren’t staying to study.

I come home in the evenings, eat food, and take a nap.

I wake up, I grade papers, or I lesson plan until about 9:00.

Last night I went for my first run since August 23. It was really, really rough. 

My district is at the bargaining table with my union, and there’s next to no raise being offered to teachers even though many of us make much lower than the United States median pay for teachers. I don’t compare my salary with other Ph.D.s.

I need to stop collecting so many assignments. I need to get the students to peer grade in class. But there’s so much curriculum! Is there time to allow for that?

I’m out of balance again. I’m looking for answers to get that balance back. I love my job. My students are awesome. My colleagues are inspiring and awesome.

But I need to find a way to do my job where I’m not so tired… I need to find a way to do my job and make time to feed my soul with art, running, yoga, writing, etc…

I think I’m so used to throwing my whole being into projects (e.g. Masters & Ph.D. degrees), that I don’t know how to carve out time for myself consistently.

I also want to do my job well, and there is never enough time during the work day to get everything done.

But the reality is I need to protect my health and sanity and the things I need to do to maintain them. I must make them priorities, because no one else will.

But right now, I’m tired.

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