Yesterday evening I sat in a chair for hours and let a man stab me in the arm repeatedly with a needle.
Oh, the things I do for kicks!
I’ve had the very broad idea for this tattoo for a long time. I wanted the lyrics to one of my favorite songs, “Born” by one of my favorite bands, Over the Rhine. The full lyrics of the chorus are:
I was born to laugh
I learned to laugh
Through my tearsI was born to love
I’m gonna learn to love
Without fear
Here’s a video for the song:
The full chorus is a little wordy for a tattoo, so I shortened it down to:
Laugh through my tears
Love without fear
A reminder of two of the things it takes to live with great empathy and vulnerability. Two of the things it takes to live daringly.
I wanted the words tattoed, but I didn’t just want it to be the words by themselves. For years I couldn’t figure out what I might want that would allow me to get those words that mean so much to mean along with an image or set of images that also means something to me.
Then it occurred to me. A mandala. I became aware of mandalas a few years ago when I came across a video on how to grow a mandala.
Through my yoga studies, I’ve learned more about them. Mandala comes from the Sanskrit word for circle, and the Hindus and Buddhists use it as a representation of the perfect universe. I doodle mandalas sometimes using the template in the above video, and they always come out looking different from each other. I love the idea that our perfect universe can change so easily.
I also read that the act of creating a mandala represents the act of turning suffering into enlightenment. If this is true, the act of getting the mandala has left me quite a bit more enlightened. After a few hours sitting in the chair with a tattoo needle at your arm and a paper towel wiping the excess ink. Whew!! I converted a lot of suffering!
I will say I was definitely in the moment through the process, and I had to use my breathing skills to help me! It’s hard not to move when the pain gets intense.
I gave the tattoo artist free reign in the design and coloring of the tattoo. I wanted it on my left forearm. I added my two cents when he asked for it. (The placement of the text, the turquoises, and coloring/shading certain areas.) I could have been more diligent about planning the tattoo, making each part symbolic; however, I rather like talking over general ideas with the artist and letting them create something truly unique that will ultimately fit with whatever comes my way. The meaning of the different components of the tattoo will come to me with time, and I like that it can be a source of meditation for me. One that I can carry no matter where I go.
When I first thought of the mandala, I thought of something that looked more like a henna design: dark browns mostly. Now that I see it, I love the color. And I love the way the words wrap around the outside, sealing everything together.
I know people will continually ask, “What does it say?” That’s Ok. I’ll tell them. But as far as the design goes, it’s for me not them. So I’m ok with some of the text being obscured by the wrapping around my arm.
I am extremely pleased with this tattoo. I love the things I wrote about it above, but also that it brings together my love of music and love of yoga.
Yay for a new tattoo!