Adulting

Life is pretty wonderful. Even amongst the hard times, there are bees, flowers, and walks with your neighbor’s dog. There are thunderstorms and sunsets. There’s restarting and launching new businesses. There are so many beautiful things in life.

And there’s adulting.

How does that word make you feel? Just the word. Positive? Negative? Neutral?

How does it feel in your body? Butterflies in your stomach? Wasps instead? Just normal, old stomach?

Pause for a second and really take in that question and that word. I’ll wait…

For me, negative. I hear that word, and my mind goes to the worst parts of being an adult.

Bills. Insurance. Check engine light on the car. Refrigerator no longer cooling. Air conditioning not working (in May in Florida). Next to no money in the bank. Credit card debt. Student loan debt. …

Directly to the negative. Which is something my brain has historically done, that I’m also trying to reprogram.

But I wondered if other adults felt as I do.

So I put the question up on my personal Facebook page. And it does seem that “adulting” has a generally negative connotation among my friend group. Some appreciated drinking booze, which isn’t the most positive thing, when you really think about it. Some appreciated not having to ask their parents, or anyone, about what they wear, how to decorate their homes, etc… And others commented on just how hard it is.

Seems I’m not alone in equating “adulting” with negative stuff after all. Which is validating in its way.

Current events

Saturday, I realized my refrigerator was not keeping things cold.

Fuck.

As the day went on, I realized it wasn’t a fluke thing. The freezer was still working. Don’t ask me about how that magic happens. It just does. The fridge wasn’t working.

I had a decent amount of groceries in there. Trashed, except for the condiments which are so full of salt, sugar, and/or oil that they’d survive an apocalypse.

My old fridge was only 10 cuft, something that was Ok and I made work, but also a tight fit. It was always a game of Tetris when I bought groceries or had leftover take-out to add to the mix. So I used this refrigerator breakdown as an opportunity to buy a new-to-me fridge. … Adulting.

Guess what? Used appliance stores aren’t open on Sundays. Which is cool. The workers do hard work. I wouldn’t want to move refrigerators all day long. … A song comes to mind.

Fortunately, since I work from home, I was able to go to the used appliance store first thing Monday morning. … Adulting. I bought a used GE refrigerator. Silver on the front with a few dings that are solely cosmetic. Fortunately, I did have cash socked away and didn’t have to put it on credit. … Adulting.

“Any chance you can get it to my place today?” … “I’ll put you as first available, but it’s more likely tomorrow.”

Back to home. Back to work. Adulting…

No go on a lucky Monday delivery. But it did give me time to move a bunch of furniture out of the way so the delivery folks could roll the fridge right in. With a 750 sqft place, furniture has to move to roll something else in. All in the midst of working my job. … Adulting.

*side note* – Why does “fridge” have a ‘d’ in it, but “refrigerator” doesn’t? I feel like “refrigerator” used to have a ‘d.’ Anyhoo.

So, I moved furniture from my front door, through my home art studio, and past my elevated kitchen island to make a path. My “elevated kitchen island” is a microwave cart on stilts. I have to move all of the stuff off the microwave cart to move the microwave cart because of the “stilts.” Plus cleaning out the freezer & fridge. … Adulting.

The delivery guys came during their proclaimed time slot on Tuesday. (Huzzah!!) And they were even interested in the art in my home studio. They wanted business cards!! They picked up my old fridge, dropped off the new one, and even set it up so it didn’t wobble. The one guy gave me some instructions for the first 24 hours. So grateful for their labor, help, and interest in my art!!

Then, move all of the furniture back. Adulting… Move the kitchen island back. Adulting…

Did I mention my air conditioner is out right now? It’s been broken since Fall of last year. I waited just a tad too long to call the HVAC guys to come fix it. (Remember, I’m in Florida.) It’s 9:15 p.m. as I’m writing this, and my thermostat tells me it’s 87F in the house. I was moving furniture earlier than now… Adulting.

The HVAC folks came on Tuesday too, but it could be weeks before parts come in. Fortunately, the parts are under warranty. The labor is not. I should have the cash for that too. … Adulting.

We (me and the cats) are managing. I set up a pretty good system with floor fans that create decent airflow so we don’t overheat. My handle broke on my floor fan, but I looped a piece of leather to act as a handle. … Adulting.

Summing Up

It’s fine. Everything is fine.

It’s fine.

And things feel hard right now too.

Why am I sharing all of this here? Airing my dirty laundry, so to speak?

Because it’s fucking hard!! And not everyone does talk about how hard it is.

I swear to the Gods I’m not whining with this post. I’m sharing a story. One that so many others face, and too many have a story that’s much more extreme than mine.

Folks are at the Met Gala tonight and paid $75,000 to be there. That’s more than I make in a year!!!! That’s more than nearly half of Americans make in two years!!

I’m sharing this story, because things feel hard. And it’s fine. And it’s going to be fine. And if we all work together, we can make sure things aren’t so hard forever for the 99% of us who are the working class. For the 99% of us who can’t pay $75,000 for a charity gala.

Together we can make change. The protests around the country are part of it, and there’s so much more.

When I was a kid, I was loosely taught that it was impolite to talk about three things: money, religion, and politics. If we take a look at the very specific ways the world is burning … Gee, I wonder why some folks didn’t want us talking about those things. (Hint: it’s so they can pit us against each other in regards to each of the topics. And, it largely seems to be working.)

So talk to your friends and family about money, politics, and religion! Join organizations that talk about and organize around money, politics, and religion. We need to be able to have those hard conversations about why it is so hard for too many folks right now.

Wishing you daring courage as you navigate those conversations. And wishing you a less hard time.