Skip to content

Asking for Help

I suck at asking for help. For some reason, I nearly always have. I guess I come from a generation of “suck it up,” “big girls don’t cry,” and “rub some dirt on it.” So I slink back to my hidey hole where I feel a little safe, try to figure it out for myself, and only come back out if I absolutely can’t figure out another way.

I’m trying to break that pattern.

No person is an island, as much as some might want to imagine it is so. We all need other people.

Well, today, I chose to ask for help.

You see, my car broke down. Rather completely. It sputtered to a stop and wouldn’t start again. I had groceries and gear I need for my part-time job in the upcoming week.

My Mini is misbehaving right now… :/

My first impulse was, “I got this.” Contact Progressive to activate my roadside assistance. Call a super-Uber, or whatever they call it, to fit all of my stuff in the back. Get home. Ride my bike back to meet the tow truck. Maybe rent a car to get to work. Or call in and say I just can’t make it.

After a few breaths, reality set in.

1) I might not be able to make it to work this week, but it would be ideal if I could since now I had a car thing I’d need to pay for. I called into work to let them know I might have a problem, and I’d let them know ASAP.

2) I used my insurance app to contact a tow truck. Not much else to do with that. Might as well use the resource I’ve been paying for.

3) While I was waiting for that, I put out a Facebook plea for someone in the area to come and get me. Sure, I could have called an Uber. But I had groceries and a couple of large crates of gear that I needed transferred too. I wasn’t sure an Uber driver would like all of that so much. Fortunately, a friend took me up on the offer and got me, my groceries, and my gear home. I definitely owe him a beer (or two or three).

4) After I went back out to the car to wait for the tow truck, I called a friend about borrowing a car. I had some car trouble a few months back, and I remembered a friend offered to loan me a car. It wasn’t necessary then, but I called to ask if it was still a possibility. Sure, I could rent a car, but I’d basically be paying to work this week. No bueno. A free, loaned car would make it worth my while. Even though they had to drive quite a ways to get to me, they chose to and I can get to work tomorrow.

Now it’s late. I’m tired. I rode my bike all over the place today, getting back and forth from the tow site, to the mechanic, and home again. Plus I was out in the heat waiting for the tow truck for awhile. But aside from fatigue, I feel grateful. So grateful that my community came together to take care of me.

I don’t always feel that way. I sometimes feel isolated, living on my own. Often I have to take care of problems on my own. People aren’t always available. They have their own lives.

As a single woman, sometimes you need to feel like people care. Like you are a priority. And there are some folks who made me a priority today, despite their busy lives. And I’m feeling very grateful. I’m glad I reached out.