It’s been tradition in my family for as long as I can remember to put up the holiday decorations on Thanksgiving.
It’s December 4, and the stockings are not hung by the lava light with care.
I’m not sure what is different. I could have put them up after I got back from Fort Lauderdale that Saturday after Thanksgiving. I could have done it that Sunday.
Nope.
I normally like listening to holiday songs from Thanksgiving until Yule. I’ve been listening to them, but my heart hasn’t really been in it.
I’ve been watching my favorite holiday shows too, to try to help me get in the spirit. Maybe it’s sort of working…
I guess I’m having a hard time latching onto gratitude right now. I’m still hurting from the car accident I was in October. I’m going to the doctor 2 to 3 times a week for therapy. I feel like I’m plateauing in regards to my healing. Soon I’ll get a steroid injection directly into my shoulder to help decrease the swelling and symptoms. If it helps, I might near the end of time where doctors and therapy are necessary. If it doesn’t, another MRI is in my future to look at other areas that might be causing the pain. I won’t get another shot…
Because of my physical stuff, I can’t really ride my bike. And I haven’t really been super active otherwise. Walking some. It’s not enough.
I’m also overwhelmed with work. I haven’t been working a ton of hours outside of work. But this means stuff isn’t getting done. Which makes my actual hours at work busier and more challenging.
I’m trying to remember to “just breathe.” I need to put meditation time back on my schedule, because I’ve been feeling a lot of anxiety. Last night I went to sleep with my mandala in bed with me. It helped me get to sleep.
So I guess I’m not going to force it this year. If I ever feel like putting the decorations up, great! If not, that’s Ok too. I can take a year off and be Ok with that.
What I do want to do is grasp gratitude again. I’ve been feeling unsettled. Like something is ‘off.’ I’ve been grumpy. Need to find that balance and peace I’ve misplaced.
Hypothetically this is the season for that too. Peace on Earth, and all that jazz. We shall see.