Creating My Life

Since I got back from my bike tour, over a month ago, I’ve been choosing a life of leisure. To be really honest, a life of laziness. I’ve been sleeping in late, napping, eating whatever I want, going to sleep early or late, drinking too often…

Right after the trip, it was easy to reconcile. I was t … i … r … e … d. I didn’t sleep well during the bicycling portion of the trip, and then I was riding 40 miles a day through hilly terrain. My body needed a recovery time.

But then the weeks kept coming. I didn’t change the pattern.

Sure, there were some weeks I worked part-time at my Mad Science job. But then I’d come home, take a nap, eat crappy food or maybe even go out to eat, drink a beer or two with dinner.

Rinse … repeat.

I lost about 10 lbs on the bicycling trip. I probably didn’t slim down much. Most of it was conversion of muscle to my legs.

But I felt good about having some of the extra weight off. 

I saw a picture of myself from behind, riding my bike recently. I saw those rolls in my back. I saw floppy arms. I saw a body that I don’t want to continue through the latter half of my life. It was a reminder that I need to start making healthy choices again.

The women in my family, at least on my mom’s side, tend to live a long time. My Great-Grandma Tillie stayed active through most of her nearly 100 years. She danced at the Senior Center. She bowled. She dated for a long time. When I’d visit, she might mention a medical issue or two, but it wasn’t the focus of conversation. 

My other Great-Grandma lived to be 97, I think. But she stayed home most of the time. When we’d visit, the whole conversation was a list of medical problems and complaints. Not much else.

I want to be like Grandma Tillie. I don’t want to eat and drink myself into an early grave (like my dad, though add smoking to that list for him). I want to enjoy as much of life as I can, not sleep through it.

If that’s the life I want, I need to make it happen. And for me, it comes in cycles. I’m “good” for a while, and then I fall off. I’m trying to get the “good” part of the cycle to last a little longer each time.

I’ve already started creating the life I want by starting Sadhana again. I’ve been practicing Sadhana for almost two weeks straight. I am allowing myself one off-day, if I want to take it.

I‘ve set two goals for myself for August: 1) no booze and 2) no eating out. Both are such a money suck. And if I use my money more mindfully, I can afford those things I’d like to do more easily. Or afford to support more of the causes I want to. Not eating out will be the harder of the two.

Too, neither is healthy. Each contains a lot of calories. Too much booze consumption is linked to cancer. The portion sizes alone at restaurants aren’t normal, and I have a hard time getting a take-home box when I’m out. I’m of the “clean plater” philosophy there.

I want to take a month to regain control over these two areas. This doesn’t mean I’ll never have a beer again or never eat out. I just want to introduce more discipline so that I’m doing each mindfully instead of just doing them.

I fell back into my old path, and I’m making a conscious effort to choose a new, healthier path again. Bicycling 20 miles of my commute to work will help with this, I think.