Happy Father’s Day!
Fathers’ Day became “just another day” back in 2012. My dad died in May 2011, so that first Fathers’ Day without him was rough. Maybe the first couple were. I’d have to go look at my journals since the blog doesn’t go back that far. But over time I got to the point where I’d roll my eyes once I started seeing the ads, but otherwise went along my way.
This year I caught myself being in my own head about Fathers’ Day again. Someone brought up a Fathers’ Day celebration, and my first thought was “Oh, my dad’s dead, so I can’t go to that.” And I quickly realized how stupid that was. For a couple of reasons: 1) I can still honor my father and the father figures in my life on this day, made-up holiday or no. I can make space to continue grieving the loss of those father figures who have transitioned. And 2) there are so many damn fine fathers in my circle. My day-to-day interaction with these folks isn’t seeing them with their kids, so them being dads is not at the forefront of my mind. But they deserve kudos! They deserve celebration! Being a parent is work!
I want to uplift that I realize that I didn’t write a similar post about Mothers’ Day. I think it feels different because I can send letters and gifts to Mom and to the other mother figures in my life… Though the mothers in my life who still have young ones definitely deserve a shout-out too!!
So thank you to my dad, Heavy. He was imperfect. He is missed. And thank you to all of the other dads I know. I know you are amazing men, so there’s no way you aren’t amazing dads too!! And some of you are definitely good with the dad jokes.
Closing Out
I’m really grateful for the opportunity to attend a few deep trainings on white supremacy in recent history. Some of the generational shit that exists in my family makes a lot more sense in that context. I’m thinking about that a lot on this Fathers’ Day.
Wishing folks whatever you need on this Fathers’ Day and Juneteenth, and definitely revolutionary love.