I just learned that my high school chemistry teacher died yesterday. That is bringing up a lot of feels.
He and I wrote Christmas cards back and forth, maybe every year since I graduated (1996). But definitely since I lived in Okinawa (1999-2003).
I didn’t get one last Christmas. So I reached out to my high school friend whose parents are friends with him. Short story is the disease of old age was taking its toll and allowed cancer to catch up.
I’ve had a few weeks to ponder, but I can’t properly sum up what he means to me. For a few important years, this 50ish-year-old, curmudgeony man made a home for me and some other misfits (i.e. the nerds). He opened up his classroom to me early to sit in the quiet and read until that first bell rang Junior year. He challenged me to compete in scholarship contests and a summer electronics camp, things I probably would have ignored or been ignorant of if left to my own devices. I know I frustrated the hell out of him with all of my questions and pushing back on authority.
Senior year he and his wife drove me and another student all the way across the state, corner to corner in Ohio, to a science scholarship contest at Ohio University. I got 3rd place, I think. As part of the contest we got to pick a book from a pile, and I was totally overwhelmed and picked some crap textbook just to pick something and not have everyone staring at me. I didn’t hear Mr. K. say to try to get a copy of the CRC Handbook of Chemistry and Physics. Oh well.
My dad had Mr. K for an electronics class in high school back in 1975. I think that was Mr. K’s first year as a teacher. Mr. K went to my dad’s memorial service in 2011.
He was a badass. One time there was a fight in front of his classroom. He walked up to the two guys and just pulled them apart. Two, big, football-y high school guys. He’d benchpress with them in the school weight room too, and folks spoke of him respectfully partially because of that.
I always got to school early in high school for some reason. One day in spring of Junior year I was at my locker, and the Principal walked up. He told me that another student, the student’s whose locker was above mine, had died. That student was a friend and in A.P. Chemistry first period with me. I didn’t know what to do, but I gathered up my books and walked to the classroom, crying. I went in, dripping and sniffling. Mr. K asked if I had a cold. I didn’t realize he didn’t know about the student dying, and said something snarky like, “yeah, like you don’t know.” Then he saw me crying, asked what was wrong, and immediately left the room once I told him. I don’t know what it was like for him when he went and talked to the Principal, but I do know that we had a very weepy, quiet first period class where we did not learn any chemistry. And I’m grateful to him for that space to grieve.
I’m rambling. I know. If you’re still reading, thanks for sticking with me.
Anyhoo, I’m so grateful this amazing teacher and man was in my life, I am 100% sure that he changed my life for the better.
I close out with this eulogy (shared below with some modifications from the original):
He was governed by the laws of physics, as are all living things. It is a scientific fact that hearts and clocks slow down as they approach the speed of light: the point at which matter is converted into energy. Mr. K’s heart approached that speed on Monday evening, converting his matter into energy… Into pure white light. Though he is no longer with us … he is all around us.
3rd Rock from the Sun
Please reach out to those teachers and those important in your life. Let them know how you feel.
Who are you thinking of as you read this post?