Good Teammate

At a recent Board meeting for an organization I’m involved with, we talked about conflict and how to avoid it. Over the course of five years, there had been no real big conflict at any of the organization’s engagements. One had recently occurred, and we talked about how we might avoid future such incidents.

The idea of being a good team member came up to address this. While at an engagement, the volunteers and staff represent the organization so it’s not the best time to have a confrontation about something. It’s not that your concerns aren’t important, it’s just that you have to work as a team to get through the shift. Then you can talk about this issue.

Another way to be a good teammate could even mean benching yourself! For example, if you arrive for your shift but are feeling very grumpy and like you might be crabby to everyone, perhaps you should go take care of yourself instead of working the event. No judgment. No harm, no foul. We all have bad days, so go take care of yourself.

The idea of being a good team mate is very much in the forefront of my mind right now.

*From all of these posts about my bad habits, you might think I’m running rampant, yelling at everyone. That’s not the case. But I am putting a lot of energy into stopping the few instances where I’m not my best self and spreading strife.*

I realize in those instances where I let anger get the better of me, I haven’t been a good team mate. And I mean every single time, so there’s a lot of teams I’ve let down over the years!

Now in most of those cases, I’ve apologized and the person in question forgave me. In some cases, relationships broke or dissolved.

To those reading this, if that was ever you: I’m so sorry I added stress and strife to your life.

Because I’m at a place in my life where I want to do better, but more importantly I think I’m actually READY to do better.

I can be a better team mate. For me, this involves a lot of reflection, especially when I’m feeling stressed. I need to be able to pause and hear that inner voice. I need to be able to ask it:

• What can I do to best help the organization or relationship?
• If I feel the need to contribute, is it really necessary?
• If the contribution is necessary, but emotionally charged, can I be kind in addressing it?

If the answer to these questions are: Nothing, No, and No, I think I’m finally ready to back away. I’m ready to sit down and be silent until the atmosphere is right for me to contribute to my team positively. Or if it is for the best, remove myself from the equation (i.e. bench myself). If there is something of a sensitive nature that needs to be addressed, I think I’m ready to pause and ask the person to talk about it somewhere privately.

I finally REALIZE that every thought that enters my brain doesn’t necessarily need to be expressed. Meditation is providing me the calm actualize that.

Some of my biggest emotional triggers revolve around feeling powerless, unheard, or misunderstood. When I’m feeling those things, usually defensiveness kicks in. And I can build those walls with sarcasm or attacks.

I will choose a different path. I will choose the path of peace.

I am committed to changing my bad habits, especially those that affect other people. They don’t serve me nor the people I care about. They also don’t support the life I want to create for myself.

I choose love instead and be a better teammate.

Are there any bad habits you’d like to break in your life? What is one step you could take to do it?