I can’t.
At least, I don’t think I can.
One more disappointment.
Really?
Yes, one more.
I really wanted to like him. I really, really did.
At first I did.
And we talked. We talked about this. And that.
And it became more apparent that we aren’t a good fit.
Circle in an oval hole.
No real spark.
No fire forming.
I just can’t.
I want to.
But, I can’t.
I know myself too well now.
I’m too honest.
This “living daringly” thing.
God, it’s a bitch sometimes.
It’s not so hard.
It shouldn’t be so hard.
What happened to chasing on the play ground?
What happened to kisses on the mountain?
So simple.
Once
Not now.
Not for me.
Can I change? Should I change?
I’m sorry.
For being me? For wanting what I want?
I can’t
I don’t think I can.
Take one more fruitless hope.
Who am I kidding?
Here I go again.
Living daringly.
But maybe a break first
Just for awhile.
Heal the heart. Soul.
I can’t
Stop now.
I can’t.
More of a stream of consciousness than a true poem. Still…