This time of year is full of traditions. I’m no longer a Christian, if I ever really was, but I still carry on some of the traditions my family adopted year after year.
Late and On Time
I’ll admit, I’m a little late with putting up the Yule decorations this year. Normally, it’s Thanksgiving Day, just like we did at my Grandpa’s house. But I just haven’t felt that much holiday spirit today. I was looking for something in the Christmas decoration boxes though, and I felt that feeling stirring. They’ll go up today, and I’ll put some in the front yard tomorrow after the storm that’s coming blows through.
Formally listening to holiday music began on Thanksgiving though. The breaking of the seal, if you will. When it’s under my control, I *do not* listen to Christmas music before Thanksgiving. Nor put up decorations and whatnot. It brings other folks joy to start right after Halloween, but for me I like to live in the moment and give each holiday its time.
Holiday Cards
One tradition that’s leaving me feeling sad this year is holiday card writing. My Mom always had a huge stack she’d send out when I was a kid, partially because of her and dad’s karaoke business. I kept that tradition going. It helped me feel connected when I lived on Okinawa, Japan from 1999-2003. 10,000 miles away is a long way to be from friends and family over the holidays. I even kept it going when I was married, and included my ex-husband’s family in the card writing. (Admittedly, something I grew to resent because he barely lifted his finger around the holidays.) But I do like the physicalness of writing actual holiday cards to some of my friends and family, even if the list is much shorter nowadays so that resentment doesn’t sneak back in.
Along the way, my high school chemistry teacher and I exchanged cards. I can’t remember if I started that after I graduated and it just stuck. Or if I started a bit later. Regardless, we’ve been sending holiday cards back and forth for a couple of decades. I was writing up my cards the other night, and it hit me all of a sudden that I wouldn’t be writing him this year nor would I be receiving one from him. I didn’t receive one from him last year either, which raised a flag about how ill he was. He passed away on April 10 of this year.
The grief of the loss of that man who was so important to me in high school and who never forgot to write me over the years connected with the grief of the loss of others who I’ll be missing this year.
Too many in my family are gone. Many too soon. Some at the time of life.
Closing Out
So, the holiday traditions I carry on are largely for them. They give me an opportunity to reconnect strongly with the memories of those loved ones at least once a year. Even if it’s hard and bittersweet.
And it’s also a reminder to me (and maybe to you) to stay connected with those important to you. Even if it’s just a holiday card each year.
A Blessing
May we share
kind thoughts,
kind words, and
kind actions, intentions,
and love.