Day 4 back. Not as many tears today, but they still fell. That’s a 75% crying at work rate, for those keeping track.
I spoke to a couple of folks today about keeping up the fight. One person in Florida, one in Colorado. Both siblings in the fight for safe schools. Both providing motivation and inspiration at a time when I feel like I’ve slinked into a corner to lick my wounds.
I’m feeling at peace with my decision to take the leave of absence, even if I know I’m going to miss my students a lot. But I’m left feeling like I want to do more in the fight against schools reopening in an unsafe fashion. I know collective action is powerful, and yet time is running out. Students are back on campus on Monday. Many teachers seem to be giving up and easing into, whatever the hell is happening right now.
I refuse to call it “normal.” Nothing is normal right now.
I’ve restarted some of my good mental health habits recently. I’ve been journaling more. I’ve maintained a steady art practice, with calligraphy getting most of my energy lately. I’m also begun meditation again. It’s been quite a few months since I sat on my zafu, but it’s felt really good to do it the past couple of nights. I still feel anxious, but these things are helping me cope.
Maybe I have pulled back to lick my wounds. But we need to heal to keep fighting. I’m glad I’m falling back into good habits, while trying to let go of the bad ones (’cause trust me, they are happening too). Taking care of myself will allow me to continue to be an effective peaceful warrior. And there are plenty of battles ahead of us…