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Lost and Found

I bought myself a small, copper, druzy heart pendant early this year. It was a celebratory gift to myself in honor of my new job. It is also a reminder of how I try to live my life: in love, in vulnerability, in connection.

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My heart pendant. Made by Midwest Alchemy. (click to go to Etsy site)

I really liked this pendant, but a few weeks ago I lost it. I was locking my bike up on my patio, and when I stood up the chain the pendant was on got snagged on a branch and broke. The pendant fell on the ground.

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What I had to face in finding my pendant.

Of course I looked for it. But the pendant is copper, and there were a bunch of dead, dry leaves. It blended right in, and I didn’t have any luck. 

I’ve been looking ever since, not quite giving up hope that I’d find it but not quite thinking I would ever find it.

But today, I found it. Huzzah!

Where I found it
Where I found it.

What was different today?

I looked with the same vigor I had previously.
I know I’d looked in that same place before.
I’d run my hand over those leaves and looked by that little plant.

The answer is, nothing was different. The pendant didn’t move. It didn’t magically appear today. For whatever reason, I was ready to see it.

The good luck of finding my pendant resonates with other trends in my life right now.

A month or so ago I was feeling very disconnected with the world. Now, I don’t feel that way. I’ve been checking in with friends. I’ve been integrating myself into the world through socializing and volunteering. Because of these things, life feels good right now. 

I am also embracing gratitude more fully than I ever have. I’m thankful for the good things, but I’ve also been able to maintain a feeling of gratitude through life’s disappointments too. The feeling has been quite liberating.

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Lots of snail mail birthday love from friends. I’m very grateful…

It’s not that connection and gratitude magically appeared in my life. They were there all the time, and I just needed to be ready to see.

I’m prepared for the cycles of life, and I know that I’ll lose this clarity at some point. But I also know I’ll come back to it. I know the connection is there, and I’ll always be able to see it when I need to.

That is a very reassuring realization, indeed…