Last Wednesday I messed up big with one of my classes.
It was getting close to time for the bell to ring. I checked the cabinet with the tablets and one was missing.
“Oh no. Not again.” Someone had truly taken one on Monday. I got it back, but I thought it was happening all over again.
I stopped the class and asked everyone to check for it. Maybe someone set it down.
I even told them if they did have it in their backpack, if they gave it to me then I would just assume the accidentally scooped it up with the rest of their belongings.
Still no one came forward. The time for the end of class came nearer.
Finally students started mouthing to call down to the office. I did, and an Assistant Principal (A.P.) quickly came.
He pulled students into the stock room to check their bags. While this was going on, I asked the students to continue looking. I was still hopeful that it got set down somewhere weird.
The tardy bell had rung. Anyone who hadn’t been searched was still in my room. My 2nd period was out in the hallway.
I started searching again too, and then I saw it. On the corner of my desk, under papers. I must have set it down there.
I told the A.P. to stop the searches. I apologized to everyone who remained in the room (those who were searched were already on their way to class). I wrote tardy notes for students, and later I followed up with teachers to make sure they knew it was because of me.
My second period class filtered in and signed in on my attendance sheet. I was near tears, feeling so incredibly shameful and stupid for this mistake. I almost excused myself to the hallway, because I was sure I was going to cry in front of my 2nd period class. Somehow I managed to keep it together, though they could tell I was stressed out.
I felt incredibly bad that some of my students’ personal belongings and space was violated because of my mistake. And such a stupid mistake.
I knew I would formally apologize to them when I next saw them. I went up a notch and bought them donuts too. Saying sorry alone wasn’t enough, in my mind. The feedback I received from them seemed to convey that they understood how sorry I was. I think they forgave me. I’m grateful.
I try to send them the message of taking accountability for your actions. If they do something wrong, I don’t want them to lie about it. I want them to own it and take accountability for it. I hope I modeled that for them in this situation. Not that I was doing it for that reason.
My apology came from my heart. They deserve nothing less.