The set up
I had a 10:00 in-person meeting scheduled today. I left with enough time to stop by the ATM to pick up some cash for an errand I had to run later. I drove north on 3rd St N, for those who know St. Pete, parallel to Lassing Park.
Near the flashing yellow (for me) light, I saw a human being. From the distance I thought they were going to cross the street. I was still a ways away, so I kept an eye on them to see if they actually were going to cross.
Something’s not right
The person did enter the road, but they were crying and holding their stomach as if in pain.
A couple of thoughts entered my mind. First was, “Shit. I don’t have time for this. I’ll be late for my meeting.” It was pretty immediately followed by, “They look like they are hurt and really need help.”
I slowed and rolled down my window. I pulled to the side of the road and put my flashers on.
The person began telling me a bit of what was wrong. They were super hungry and hadn’t eaten in a couple of days. Mostly they wanted money to get food.
I didn’t have cash, and also this wasn’t just a panhandling situation. The person was nearly sobbing in the middle of the road. I worried for their safety and also that someone might call the cops on them. So I offered them a ride.
Once they got in the car, they told me that two people spit on them. I’m not 100% sure, but I think they meant when they were trying to get help two people spit on them.
They asked I take them to the nearby McDonald’s for food, so I did. They told me a bit more of their story. They were concerned about their kids in daycare. They were even wanting to find someone to adopt their children because they couldn’t care for them.
They kept saying they were so ashamed. I kept assuring them that they shouldn’t be ashamed to ask for help. That I was happy to help my neighbor.
I asked if going to the local homeless shelter would be helpful. They said they’d already been there. I asked if they knew about the St. Pete Community Support Hubs. It’s a newer city-funded organization that might be able to connect them with services and help for their children. They hadn’t heard of that place, so I made sure they had the number when I dropped them off at their requested destination. I hope they call, and I hope the Hubs can help.
Why am I sharing this?
Because yesterday I attended a community bystander intervention training hosted by Equality Florida. This training involves teaching community members alternatives calling the police to deal with problems. One of the things they recommend to show that you are a person who works to create safe spaces for people is to share stories where you’ve helped intervene in a situation.
So I am.
I could have kept driving. I could have said, “I’m so sorry I can’t help” when she asked me for money for food. I could have dropped her off right after picking up food at McDonald’s instead of taking her to her final requested destination.
Maybe because of that training yesterday, I decided to directly act and help this person.
And I want to be clear that I’m familiar with the concept of the white saviour: white folks stepping in to help underprivileged folks in a dehumanizing sort of way.
If there was any of that sprinkled in on my part, it was not intentional. Mostly, I wanted to help my neighbor who was in distress. I couldn’t solve all of that person’s problems, but I could get them some food and get them to a location that felt safer for them. And I could give them a phone number to a place that might be able to help them. I hope they call it or go there.
Be the change
There is a lot that’s fucked up in our world.
Our Haitian and other immigrant neighbors are being threatened and attacked because one person said they are eating people’s pets.
It doesn’t have to be that way. We can take care of each other instead.
If I was that person on the side of the road sobbing, praying, hoping that someone would stop and share money or food with me, gods I hope someone would answer the call.
Today, I’m glad I did.
Cosmic spookiness
It’s pretty rare that I have in person meetings. Most of them are via phone or Zoom.
It was definitely on my mind that I was going to be late for my meeting. I knew the person I was meeting wouldn’t mind. They called me while I was in the car with my distressed neighbor. I waited until I dropped off my neighbor to call them back.
They called to make sure I’d seen their text. I hadn’t. They needed to meet online instead because of car troubles. So, after I got off the phone, I circled back and went home… If I’d seen that text, or we’d just done a virtual meeting in the first place, I never would have been there at that time…
It’s almost like the universe put me in that person’s path on purpose.
Spooky