It’s been a stressful week. Car stuff, which becomes money stuff. Stranded-by-the-side-of-the-road stuff.
It started last Sunday (07/14), about a mile from home after grocery shopping. At a stop light. Light turns green. Make a left turn. Sputter … sputter … stall.
A friend saved me and my groceries from the side of the road (thanks, Chris!!). A tow truck took the car to the mechanic. Friends brought me a car I could borrow. They drove from northern Tampa, up by Bearss Ave, all the way down to downtown St. Pete and back. So I had a car to get to work on Monday. (Thanks, Andy & Mary!)
I picked the Mini up Monday afternoon, and I paid a significant sum of money for a new fuel pump and labor to put it in.
So, I drove the Mini to work Tuesday. Drove it most of the way to work on Wednesday (07/16). About 2 miles out from my job, in Sarasota, same symptoms. At a stop. Light turns green. Going straight with traffic all around me. Sputter … sputter … Signal to get over, praying people let me get over before it stalls. Throw flashers on. Pull into a parking lot, just rolling with the clutch pushed in at this point. Stall at the entrance to the parking lot, not blocking traffic, but not in a spot.
Fuck!!!
Breathe … Breathe … Breathe …
Make a couple of phone calls to alert people there’s a problem. A guy offers to help push me into a parking spot. I thank him and shake his hand.
Breathe … Breathe … Breathe …
I make arrangments to get the equipment to my job. I call the mechanic to tow the Mini back to St. Pete. They offer to do it for free, as they should.
I do my job. Not gleefully, but the campers still had a good time. My camp assistant gave me a ride to Bradenton. I took a Lyft back home. The car got towed to the mechanic’s later in the day.
Thursday, find out some sort of relay went out along with the fuel pump. They warrantied the fuel pump (as they should), but the relay needed to be replaced too. Part supposed to arrive Friday. Nope. Not until Monday.
Over the weekend, I barely needed a car. I rode my bike nearly 40 miles for funsies. I walked to a concert at Jannus Live on Sunday (Girls Rock St. Pete). If I did go anywhere, I still had my friend’s trusted Volvo.
And that’s what I drove to my orientation this morning. It’s been a good ride.
I got home at 4:30 and hopped on my bike to rush to the mechanic to pick up the Mini before 5:00. (Max speed 20.1 mph) Fork over another hefty sum of money to cover the parts and labor for that relay. Then onward to fill up the gas tank.
On the way home, a man’s car stopped at 1st Street N and 5th Ave N. I got to repay some of my car karma by helping him push his car out of the intersection.
In the meantime, I totally forgot about my counseling appointment. I got a text from my counselor at 5:40 for a 5:30 appointment.
“Shit. Do you still want me to come? I can be there in 10.”
She said yes, so I hopped back on the bike. (Max speed: 16.8 mph.)
Sitting on the couch by 5:55. Dump feelings in an endorphin-filled frenzy. Appreciate how far I’ve come in remaining mostly calm through this car thing. How I’m mostly ready for school to start back up. How much of my life has hit the reset button this summer in really good ways.
Leave at 6:30, feeling rushed and frazzled. Like the endorphins were still wanting to play. Also like I didn’t get enough time to dump my feelings, considering it might be a couple of months before I can go to counseling again.
Ride bike home really fast. (Max speed: 20.6 mph)
Now writing. Chilling. Getting it out. Still need to eat something, but feeling less frazzled.
To be clear, I’ve felt a fair amount of anxiety over the car thing. There is a substantial sum of money related to my auto repairs on my credit card right now. I’m near the end of my savings from the rest.
But I’m Ok. And I’ll be Ok. I’ve been breathing through the whole thing, like I breathed through it in Sarasota last Wednesday. My meditation practice has been strong for nearly 50 days, and I give it a lot of credit. I also give bike riding and writing credit. I give my counseling sessions credit.
The money stuff is scary, but I’m fine and I’m going to be fine.
Breathe … breathe … breathe.
I’m glad that all of my healthy coping mechanisms are coming together. I’m trying to do what I need to keep them going so that I can keep coming back to this place of peace when there is a maelstrom of stress rolling around.
Breathe … breathe … breathe …
(Please send positive energy or prayers or whatever that the Mini will only require regularly scheduled maintenance from here on out. Thank you!)