It’s been nearly two weeks since I last posted. I’ve definitely been in a slump. The Florida elections made it even worse.
This time of year is specifically reserved for thanksgiving, and I was having a hard time of thinking of things.
I mean, sure, I could list the “normal” things you are supposed to be thankful for: a roof over my head, a car to get me to work and back, food in my belly, a supportive family. And those things shouldn’t be taken lightly! There are so many who go without those basic needs (well, the car isn’t a true need, but you know what I mean).
What I’ve been seeing, and focusing on, lately is the negativity in people. The racism. The hatred. The “every man for himself” mentality that seems to be rolling over the country like a tsunami. The earthquake happened a long time ago, and now the water’s finally hitting the shore…
Logically I know there are good people in the world. Every single day there are people going out and doing beautiful, wonderful things for each other.
But at the end of the day:
- People die because a company doesn’t want to pay for their treatments.
- Someone is making more money keeping semi-automatic weapons on the shelf and easily available than if folks had to go through some hoops.
- Some feel so afraid of the color of a person’s skin, black people keep dying for no reason at all at the hands of neighbors and police.
- High rises go up, starting at the low price of $600,000, while hundreds of homeless folks sleep in nearby parks.
- Our bombs are dropping all over the world. Nearly every day.
These aren’t my values. They are so far from my values that I don’t know what to do with my emotions.
I feel rage that cycles keep repeating. Yet I also believe in the yogic teachings (yamas).
- Do no harm
- Honesty
- Responsibility
- Generosity
- Unity
In Brené Brown’s new book, Dare to Lead, she recommends figuring out what your two life values are. If you have more than that, you probably aren’t truly investing in any of them.
I sat down and figured out my big two are courage and equality. Or maybe justice. Still haven’t quite figured out the second. Maybe it’s fairness… I want things to be fair in most things.
I try to infer best intentions in my day-to-day interactions with people. This means that if someone is rude to me, I assume they had a bad day. If someone cuts me off in the grocery line, I assume they have a sick child they need to get back to ASAP. I get better and better at this all the time, and whether or not it’s true (I’ll never know.) it keeps me from walking around with a grudge on my shoulder every minute of every hour.
But even with this, I can’t help but see the ugliness in people.
I must remind myself that is the practice. Yoga is a practice. It’s not assumed that you are automatically enlightened. You have to work towards it. And the other side is, you can only work on it in yourself.
As I’m writing this, other instances are coming to mind where I’ve had epiphanies about how my self-exploration has expanded out to make the world just a little bit better.
- I need to get back on track with practicing yoga. Both meditation and asana. That might be part of my negative mindset right now.
- I will keep doing good work. Politically, I will get more involved than I have been. The past couple of elections I’ve done more and more, but still not as much as I could have. I take responsibility for myself, and I’ll do better in the future.
- I will try to focus on the good. I need to read more Dalai Lama, Brené Brown, Dan Millman, Pema Chodron, etc… and less news. I do want to be informed, but it’s also not good for me to read so much of the negative. And a lot of the news is blown out of proportion anyway.
Maybe this image is what is truly causing me pain. I don’t feel like I can do enough to fix things.
Reality is, I can’t! The societal problems going on are really, really big. It will take all of us working together to fix it.
All I can do is my part, and remember “I am enough.” (<<another Brené Brown lesson)
I’ll do my part and hope that others will come with me. And others will come with them.
I married young. Twenty-one years old. I had terrible communication skills, and so did he. We ended up becoming isolated islands. We didn’t talk. Certainly not when it counted, and we lost touch of whatever connection first brought us together.
The country (world?) is like that. We’ve forgotten how to talk to one another. Actually been encouraged to not talk to each other about the important stuff. I was taught you weren’t supposed to talk about money, politics, and religion with folks you didn’t know too well.
Well, if we don’t talk about it, how can we come to understanding? Like in my failed marriage, to save things we need to start having those hard conversations. My ex- didn’t want to do that, but there’s more on the line with a country. Our very existence depends on us getting along. Otherwise we’ll keep committing the atrocities of our forefathers, ultimately dying from nuclear winter.
Having a hard conversation with some folks doesn’t seem so bad compared to that.
So I need to get on track with being the change I wish to see. Part of the change I wish to see is more people happy.
I’ve got to start with me.