We made it to the halfway point and past in yoga teacher training this week. Once it was brought to my attention, I realized that I’d come over a hump along with it.
My cold and the fatigue that accompanied it definitely brought some things to light. I want to take my daily practice into my life forever. While I was sick, I did still get up but I drank tea and journaled. As I was getting better I realized that I could have moved my body a little in the morning. Maybe a light, seated practice would have limbered me up and made me feel a little bit better even as I felt crappy in other ways.
While I know that it is Ok to back off and do what’s right for my body, doing nothing isn’t usually the right answer.
Which brought doubt and fear about continuing the practice once school starts back up. To do an hour Sadhana in the morning, I’ll have to be out of bed at 4:30 a.m. That’s before dawn, before the rooster crows. Certainly it’s before any sane person is out of bed. Even with feeling tired in the morning, will I still get up? Because let’s face it, to get eight hours of sleep I’d have to be in bed by 8:30. How often do you think that will happen?
Now that I’m feeling better, I’m doing my full hour of practice. At 8:30 in the morning, it’s easy! Get up, practice 30 minutes of asana, journal after that… Easy peasy.
Will I be able to continue the practice at 4:30 a.m.?
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!!!!!
I’m a damn stubborn person. I need to use my stubbornness for good! Or, perhaps, as the meme suggests I need to let go of the stubborn insistence of wanting to sleep in and be determined to practice yoga every day.
So the halfway point has brought some doubts about the future, doubts that I’m trying to extinguish with action.
On the bright side, I realize that my body is getting stronger. While I was sick I didn’t practice asana at all for a full week. After that week, I was able to practice a portion of a rigorous Ashtanga sequence and I’ve been able to hold poses longer. It seems my week off didn’t put me back any.
As I progress through the rest of my training, determination will be a theme. I get to determine the path of my life. I want yoga to be a consistent part, so I will make it so…
So let it be written, so let it be done.