Windmills vs Walls

Teachers have had three days back-to-school. I’ve noticed changes during that short time.

I’ve been up at 5:30 or 5:00 each morning. I notice that I don’t feel as tired as I’d expect from being up that early. One evening I even went for a run (after a short nap). 

I haven’t been taking negative things home with me. There are changes going on in my school. A lot of them are good give me great hope for a good, drama-free school year. But with change can also come resistance, and as a union rep. I’ve also run into some of that. I find that I’ve been better able to not take things personally. I’ve also been better able to let any negative mojo slide off of me at the end of the day. Driving home, I’ve felt happy!

Honestly, I don’t know what else I can attribute these changes than my morning Sadhana. (And I’ve been making and eating breakfast.) Every morning for 69 days I’ve gotten up and taken care of myself before anything else. When I was sick, I just got up and journaled. The majority of the days, I’ve practiced yoga (asana), meditated, and journaled.

Doing these things seems to be helping me go with the flow a little more. They are helping me to better realize that I and the people I interact with are all on the same team, which also helps me shrug off grudges when disagreements among teammates occur. We have different ideas on how we’ll get there, or maybe even where we’re going, but keeping the lines of communication open can help us come to a solution to the problem at hand.

And communication, better communication, has been a big goal of the living daringly way for a long time. It comes in fits and starts. Sometimes it hits a wall when a situation feels too big. That was a lot of last year for me. I let myself be silenced, and I held a lot of negative feelings for way too long.

Now, I don’t want to be afraid anymore. I don’t want to feel angry about a situation for months. If there is air to be cleared, I want to try to help clear it in the best way I can. If there is a problem, I want to advocate for myself and, when it’s relevant, for my fellow union members.

Change seems to be ablowin’, both personally and career-wise, and it feels like a good thing. I’m trying to build windmills instead of building walls like I’ve been known to do. 

Or perhaps, instead, I’ll be a sail or a flag, moving with the wind. Staying flexible as the gale blows, instead of stubbornly keeping to the same habits and ruts.

I hope these changes will allow me to be a better version of myself and let my true intention show through. Love, kindness, justice…

It’s going to be a good year.